Photos : Kirsten A.
It’s crazy how weight is something I obsess about and see as an issue. Two days ago, I was horrified because I didn’t fit in my friend’s beautiful dress. Did I mention I had champagne and snacked a little ? In my eyes, I’m always TOO thick . It’s the first time I am actually acknowledging my body image issues. And it’s been stuck with me for a while. It was already the case 15 years ago when I was 54 kg. I wonder why I am so hard on myself ? I am sure I am not the only one it’s an issue for. So why not make it a conversation over on Multicolore Paris ?
When it becomes an obsession…
Focusing so much on my weight has become such an obsession, that I developped the need to have control, to control myself. My girlfriends say that in those times, I start having fads … Their characteristics? It’s often something new (like turning into a vegetarian overnight, starting to work out as if my life depends on it… ), that I do in quite an extreme way and that never lasts long (always according to my girlfriends) . I persist and sign, often these tests still create a small change in my habits (LOL). But it’s true that most of my attempt fail, because basically, I am an epicurian. I love the good life. Food in particular. From its preparation to the eating part.
Social media : double the trouble
And then there is social media, which sometimes that makes us think we are not thin enough, not ” be you” enough, not unique enough, that what ever we do, it’s not enough. In my opinion, social media is not the pet peeve. It’s rather the way we consume it, that is. We always forget that as a human beings, we always tend to show our victories and good sides to inspire, to give happiness to others or simply to show off. At the expense of less positive things. While, they too, could inspire and create an interesting collective conversation. And yet we consume the contents that we are served on a daily basis as if it was an absolute truth. Thank god, there are some personalities who stand out for their authenticity and it feels good. I try anyway, to reduce my time-spending on instagram. I post less and I try to check my feed less often and for a shorter time, without necessarily pulling the line. Because it’s still a great communication tool, I can’t deny it. Nevertheless, it doesn’t hurt to cleanse.
Let go and learn self-acceptance
After all this thinking, I decided enough was enough. After spending entire summers envying the girl next door who is as thin as a french fry, identifying me as the “natural” bombshells of instagram and looking at me 300 hundred thousand times in the mirror at a 15 seconds interval, hungry for THAT angle, that will make me thinner, perhaps it was time to let my body be. It was time for my body to feel loved. Instead of making it feel that is trash worthy. Shame on me. Negativity has never helped anyone. It may also be true for side fat. (LOL).
Because maybe that’s the secret. To love who we are, today. And to accept that we only have one body and that even if we want it to change, we have to give it some time to integrate these changes. To accept that beauty is a whole and that it comes from the soul and from what people feel when around us. Well, yeah ! I am totally bringing on the “inner beauty” argument, but I think that’s the truth I’d like to go with. I will never tell you that you have to sit still, waiting to lose weight while you are stress-eating 24/7 and feeling poorly about yourself . I’m just saying that being extreme doesn’t give better results. Sometimes it’s better to take the time to understand your patterns and to find a more viable solution to our problem, one step at a time. Because: “Rome was not built in a day”. Just , don’t lose sight of your goal. The results may surprise you. Because sometimes, the only thing we really need is time.
To quote the latest book of my favorite wellness inspiration Hannah Bronfman : ” Do what feels good!“. We will go with that. And see how it goes.
Prenez soin de vous.